A BOY AND HIS BONER

Yea I know, another blog update! It just so happens to be a glorious day today. See, I have a friend named Boner Hogan. I can't even remember how I met him, but we ended up jamming together for months, just doing some covers while I learned to play guitar. Our bassplayer Erin and me nicknamed him Boner one day, and no one can remember why. But it turns out we were true prophets when we did so. After working with some sketchy lebanese guys, and at a relay service where every harcore kid except myself has worked at, Boner came up to me one day and told me he got a new job. He then said the coolest thing anyone has ever said to me: "I write porn scripts".

I mean, seriously. I didn't even know pornos had scripts. I never stopped to think that somewhere, there are dudes that get paid to think them up. And if you told me they did, I would picture a tanned gino on a hollywood set somewhere, not this guy:

Every time I see Boner now, he tells me about life as a porn writer. Well, I endlessly assault him with questions about it, really. I almost tried getting a job with him, which would have been the only real way to go after telemarketing and video game testing, but I actually got hired doing graphic design. Today was my first day, but that is not what matters.

Today is the day that Boners' first script is online! Today is the day that I realised that I know a guy who goes to an office, writes down what he thinks a pornstar should do, and then the pornstar does it. And he gets paid for it. You can view the trailer here: Big Butt Massage

Next time you think you're cool, forget about it. Boner wins. Game over.

PS: Here is a photograph of Boner and myself playing together. One day I will show this to my grandchildren, who will be in total disbelief that I ever knew the man, the lengend, that Boner Hogan is destined to become.