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Keyboard Cat Blog

THIS HAMMER I'VE GOT

This just dropped today. Shoot out to Craig Arms.

FOUND

I found this in my inbox after cleaning it up. I don't remember where I got it, but it's Porcell talking about Schism fanzine, so it's probably from LW. Either way, good read:

When I did the Agnostic Front interview for issue #7, I also wanted to interview John Watson, who was the original AF singer and by that time a notorious Cro-Mags roadie who spraypainted "CROMAGS" on every city block of the lower east side. One day I saw him in the health food store I worked at and told him I was doing an article on AF for my fanzine and asked if I could interview him. He looked right through me for about 10 seconds and then said "You're in maya (illusion) bro... HAAAARE KRISHNAAAA!" and walked away. On a side note, John Watson gets my vote for the best mosher/stagediver in hardcore history. As legends go he invented the circle pit. Whether that's true or not, one thing's for certain, he was the first to come up with the fistpunching "mosh dance" that kids do some 25 years later, but never with as much style as that guy.

I also saw James "The Russian" Kontra, the second singer for AF, on Avenue A one night around the same time and also asked to interview him for Schism. He just looked at me and didn't say a word. I'm not sure if he didn't speak English or wanted to kick my ass, but after about 60 of the most awkward seconds of my life, I just walked away. That dude was not one to be messed with.

Around the time I interviewed Al Barile of SS Decontrol for issue #8, SSD had gained a reputation as "sellouts" due to the releases of the overtly non-hardcore/classic rock vibes of How We Rock and Break It Up. When I asked him the question "How do you feel when people say SSD stabbed hardcore in the back?", the written word doesn't do Al justice, because his response was like an attacking pitbull as he screamed at the top of his lungs into the phone "Ya know what I think? I THINK HARDCORE STABBED US IN THE BACK!" Homeboy was pissed!

DOLPHINS, MOE

©SPOILER'09

YOU DON'T WANT NO CHOCOLATE IN YO VANILLA?

I just spent an entire saturday afternoon watching youtubes. It's 5 pm and I'm still in bed. I haven't even eaten breakfast yet. I watched a couple of early 90s rap jams and then some black metal parodies (theres some good ones out there) and eventually I stumbled upon an old classic, the perfect mix of both:

I found the caller's site, he's got a pretty sick remix of this call plus a bunch of other prank calls, some pretty good ones in there. Enjoy: Original Pranksta

I USED TO TAKE PICTURES

YNGWIE

The first tape my dad ever made me was a memorex with yellow labels, featuring Yngwie Malmsteen "Trilogy" on side A and Helloween "Keeper of the Seven Keys" on side B. I must have been around 6 or 7 when he gave it to me. Apparently it was the two records I responded to most, so he dubbed them for me so I could listen to them in my room.
Two decades later, I'm sad to say not a lot of people remember Yngwie (Helloween does a bit better). I see it as my duty to keep the spirit of music alive, so let's talk Malmsteen. This Scandinavian master basically tried to play operas on his guitar as a little kid, and so developed his own epic sound. The man was such an incredible guitarplayer that he could put out records under his own name, without even singing on them. He just got random dudes to sing and play the non-shredding instruments, like it was all just filler to him. Amazing. Well, if you want any more bland info, check wikipedia. I know you're too lazy to do that, or to download any of his albums, so here. Let's just go the youtube route. This is the video for "You Don't Remember (I'll Never Forget)", the first song off the Trilogy album (also my favorite Yngwie jam):



This video features everything a good cock rock video needs. Seen in chronological order:
Fast cars, men that look like fast women, pirate shirts, a drummer making obscene tongue gestures, a multitude of completely ridiculous guitar-throwing moves, bandanas tied around mic stands, Yngwie doing a low kick in spandex, Yngwie's classic pose (1:17), an obvious Cro-Mags reference (2:08), Marshall stacks, green alien lights emanating from a guitar during a ridiculous solo, and the best post guitar solo sequence in a music video ever: Yngwie waving at his guitar while playing a one handed outro to his own solo, footage of cops arresting a rocker interspersed with the bassplayer oddly swinging his bass left and right, imitating either a grandfather clock or a huge cock, Yngwie doing a high kick in spandex, and finally a good half minute of ridiculous poses intertwined with shots of the crowd, featuring a hot babe, who when viewed in slow motion clearly wants a piece of Malmsteen. As should anyone who just saw that.

COOCH SEZ

"i just got a breakdown gig-soliciting tape today that pre-dates the '87 demo"





no big deal.

THOUSANDS OF WORDS pt III

The memory on my phone is full, so here is every picture I took with it.